Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
