Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
