Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
