Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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