guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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