I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
