do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You had me at "let me see your balls"
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
