nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Randomize
