I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
