***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I hope mine doesn't look like that
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
