Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
There's always time for handjobs
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
