we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
