All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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