we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
