So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
