You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
