Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
