is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
how drunk are you?
Several
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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