It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
