I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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