worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
