That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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