a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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