he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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