I CAN MOONWALK!
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
