Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
