Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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