you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
