ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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