Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
