Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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