Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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