You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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