Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
