I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Are we in a gay sports bar?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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