I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
