I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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