He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
