its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
