you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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