Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
