hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
