I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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