Can i not drive my cunt home
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm both gender and math confused
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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