just tell him i said nine months
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
