He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
