those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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