he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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