super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
