i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
