is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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