im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
