I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
