this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize