I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
